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Thoughts on Being a Mother

Sitting in church last Sunday listening to a friend’s son talk about his mom, I got to thinking about what would my son say if he had to talk about his mom.  It’s my first Mother’s Day without him (for those who don’t know, he’s away at school).  I miss him terribly.  He’s made me proud as a mom and as I think about what he says about mothers, I realize I’ve done a pretty good job.

My family talks in quotes, movie quotes being our favorite.  One of X’s favorite quotes is from The Crow “Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.”  I’m thinking of this quote as I listen to the adults speak.  I’m not sure this is a quote that I can share in church but I still find it appropriate.  While I know that my son just loves the movie, the fact that it is the quote about mothers that has become his favorite makes me believe that no matter what, he still loves his mom.

While he has been gone, he’s taken to sending me notes when he can.  He wrote me an entire letter and gave it to me because he didn’t want me to get the wrong impression.  It was a beautiful letter about how much he loved and appreciated me.  He’d probably deny it but I keep it hidden as proof.

When he talks about his memories of his childhood, it’s not the big things that he talks about.  He remembers the Halloween costume I made for him because we couldn’t afford to buy the one he wanted.  He doesn’t remember that we couldn’t afford the “real” one, just that I made him his favorite costume.

He remembers love, forgiveness, quiet moments.  When he came home for Christmas, what he wanted was family dinners and movie times.  For his birthday, it was a trip to the mall for all you can eat Chinese and window shopping.

While he still has those trying teen moments, most of the time I couldn’t be happier with the person he is.  Since I was only blessed with one child, I am so glad he is the one I got.  Yes, there were hard years and many sleepless nights.  But I wouldn’t give them away for anything.  Because there were the moments I remember most – snuggles on the couch (even as a teenager), handmade gifts, moments of discovery, moments of laughter – so much laughter.  We talk in riddles, star gaze, find shapes in clouds, and share moments few others can understand.

He finished his letter with the quote I am finishing this post with.  Our favorite story book which I believe every mother (parent) of boys should own – I Love You Forever by Robert Munsch.  “I love you forever, I like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.”

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